


I won't lose you

by clexa_is_endgame47



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Domestic Damie, Domestic Lesbians, Dorks in Love, F/F, Fluff, Hurt, Lesbians, Smut, damie - Freeform, haunted, lesbian love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:47:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27503284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexa_is_endgame47/pseuds/clexa_is_endgame47
Summary: This takes off after Dani and Jamie leave Owen's restaurant, and then follows through right up to the scene where Dani sees the lady in the sink and the plate shatters, and post that scene to.A little angst, some dramatic conversations, and a whole lot of love and comfort. Hope you like it.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 13
Kudos: 121





	I won't lose you

**Author's Note:**

> This is my third Damie fanfiction. Another one-shot. I'm so happy you're here to read this, and I hope it's to your liking. Would love to hear from you in a comment when you're done.

After they’d moved to Vermont, Jamie finally decided on buying herself an SUV. Jamie had always wanted a Jeep when she was young. She’d watch them go past and she’d think to herself, I’m going to own one of these one day. So here she was, unlocking her new Jeep. It wasn’t like her truck back at Bly. But it was sturdy and secure, and most importantly, Dani loved it too. 

As she got in and watched Dani get in on the passenger side, she thought about that exact moment she felt Dani stiffen up beside her back there in the restaurant. She had asked Dani if she was alright, and Dani simply shrugged it off. As if Jamie should just ignore it. As if Jamie wouldn’t read into it. As if Jamie wouldn’t know in her bones that Dani, then on, wasn’t alright. 

“Dani, is everything okay with you?” Jamie asked. 

Again, Dani nodded, but wouldn’t look directly at her. And after she had buckled her seat belt in, she simply folded her arms across her chest and stared out the window. Jamie sighed. 

She knew how Dani got sometimes when she was far inside her head, Jamie knew to give her some time, but this, this was something else. Not only was Dani far away in her mind, she was also terrified. Jamie could tell. She knew all the signs. She decided, and she trusted, that Dani would eventually open up and talk to her.

So she did the only thing she could in that moment, she started her SUV, and began to drive them back home.

They were halfway there, and Dani sniffled. 

“Okay, Poppins, you gotta tell me what’s wrong, how can I fix it if you won’t tell me…?” Jamie said while driving, stealing a glance now and then towards her lover, her wife by their own authority, 

“You can’t fix it Jamie” she finally spoke. And that was something right? 

“Try me.” Jamie said. 

But Dani went silent again. Still refusing to look at Jamie. There were more sniffles. But she was looking out the window the whole time. Jamie reached for her, she put her hand on Dani’s arm, but Dani shivered and it almost seemed like the proximity wasn’t welcomed now at all. Jamie tried to ignore the reaction, tried to pass it off as Dani’s mind clearly being elsewhere, but it hurt. It did. Because she thought they were definitely at a place where no matter what, Dani knew she could talk to Jamie. Jamie had been her stronghold for so long now, and Jamie had always promised her, one day at a time, they would fight whatever it is that tried to break them. 

So Jamie's heartfelt heavy, she wanted to hold Dani and tell her that no matter what it is, they could see it through together. 

It had been 20 minutes now of silence. 

“Dani, please talk to me,” Jamie said. 

“Not now, Jamie, please” Dani said, still staring out the window. Why was she hiding her face? 

“Fine,” Jamie said and stopped the car outside a general store. 

“Where are we?” Dani asked, looking down at her lap. 

“I need smokes, we’ve run out,” Jamie said, her tone clipped as she unbuckled her seatbelt and quickly got out. “Wait here,” Jamie said before shutting her car door and disappearing off to the store. 

Dani chanced a look, only after Jamie walked out towards the store. She noticed the defeated demeanor, the way Jamie walked over, staring at the ground, thinking so hard, and Dani almost burst into tears right there thinking about what she was doing to them. 

How was she supposed to explain to Jamie that the lady was winning. She was coming in hard and fast, she was moving quickly now to take over their life, she was getting closer and closer by the second. And how was she supposed to explain to Jamie how she feared for her life that when she looked into Jamie’s eyes, she’d see her, she’d see the lady reflected right back, and she didn’t want that, she didn’t want her Jamie ever to have the lady reflected off her eyes. No. 

Her Jamie, deserved only love. And if Dani was slowly being taken over by a form that was so loveless, so full of hate and anger and grief and heavy, dense terror, how was she supposed to love Jamie like that, tainted. 

She was tainted by a demon, and every time she touched Jamie knowing that a demon’s soul was in there with hers, she felt a creepy tingling sensation run down her spine, telling her, she was wrong to taint a love as pure as Jamie’s. Her Jamie. She felt ashamed, and dirty, and so wrong. Jamie deserved better, she did. 

Dani also knew how much she was hurting Jamie even now, just by not telling her, and she wanted to, she would, she’d tell Jamie everything about what she saw, about what she was thinking, all of it, but not right now. Right now, she needed to find some will in her, some will to stay. Because right now, all she wanted to do was run away. Every instinct in her body told her Jamie would be happier without the weight of her demons, but a flicker of love in her heart that Jamie had been the one to ignite, won over, telling her, she couldn’t break her lover’s heart that way. No. Not like that. Not tonight. 

She hoped Jamie knew, knows that she just needs a while, that she’ll talk to her eventually. She will. She could never hold back from Jamie. Jamie knew that. So she hoped Jamie stayed patient with her. She really hoped Jamie would understand. 

The car door swung open, and in came Jamie. Dani stared ahead, but she heard Jamie rummaging around in the glove compartment, until she heard the sound of her lighter going off. 

“Jamie, we said that was our last smoke for the day,” Dani said, feeling uneasy in her stomach. 

“Well, my wife’s not looking at me, she won’t talk to me, I think I deserve one, don’t you?” Jamie said. And Dani sighed. She knew Jamie didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly, she knew Jamie would apologize later, and she hoped Jamie would also understand later, why this silence she was keeping was her way of processing her thoughts. 

“Jamie, we agreed…” she tried once more, but the smell of smoke was already filling the car, she knew Jamie was already two puffs in. 

“I know what we agreed on. We agreed to a lot of things, and if you won’t keep up your side of the deal, then I'm allowed some liberties too,” Jamie said.

When Dani didn’t reply, and simply just sat up straighter in her seat and turned her head to look out the window again, Jamie sighed in frustration. 

Dani wanted to cry, she was hurting them both, she knew it, she just needed to talk, and everything would be okay. She could picture it now, even without looking at Jamie, she could picture the way Jamie was probably looking at her from the driver’s seat. 

Her forehead creased, her eyes fixed on Dani, holding worry and concern and love. So much love. If Dani chanced a look at her right now, she’d feel overwhelmed from all that love, she knew it would break her apart immediately. But she was not having this conversation in their car. It could wait. Jamie would wait. She was sure of it. She was impatient, but she was her wife. Dani was confident, Jamie would understand. 

Dani felt the car move eventually, and looked ahead as Jamie drove them. It was Jamie’s silence and stillness now that was beginning to eat at her. How angry was Jamie right now? She couldn’t tell. To tell, she’d have to look. And if she looked, she’d break. So she tried to guess, she tried to compare it to the other times they’ve argued, or fought and how it always ended up okay. This would end up okay again too right? Right? She wasn’t driving Jamie up the wall too much with this need for space right? Maybe she should talk to her, and tell her she needed time. That she was thinking. Maybe she should reach out and touch her hand? That should comfort her right? It was something. 

Just as she lifted her hand off her lap, something happened, something that was speeding on the crossroad, passed right in front of them, and Jamie gasped right before she hit the brakes too hard, and Dani would have flown forward had it not been the seatbelt, but a loud gasp made it out of her lungs top, as she instinctively reached out to find Jamie's arm. 

And when she looked to her right, Jamie was shivering, her hands gripped on the wheel, her knuckles turning white. 

“JAMIE! Are you alright” 

“I’m fine, I'm fine, I’m sorry” Jamie rushed to say, “it… it came out of nowhere, Dani are you okay?” she rushed to ask as her eyes, filled with terror, looked towards Dani, and Dani’s eyes finally met Jamie’s.

  
Jamie had been focusing on the road. She really had been. She swore she had been. But they were nearing home, and she couldn’t help but wonder, how long more she would have to endure this silence from the woman she loved so much, from her wife. Why did Dani not trust her to listen, to understand, to acknowledge whatever it was that was bothering her. Was it the lady? Was she having those eerie feelings? The ones she had when they'd just started out from Bly to here? Were those sensations back? Was she losing her love to the demon that haunted their lives? 

Jamie didn’t know what it was that flashed before her eyes and sped past, but her whole body came alive with one instinct, PROTECT DANI. And she hit the brakes so hard, she almost flew out of her own seat with the impact. She heard both their gasps at the shock.

And then she heard Dani’s concerned voice, sounding out in her direction, “JAMIE! Are you alright,” she said.

“I’m fine, I'm fine, I’m sorry” Jamie rushed to say, “it… it came out of nowhere, Dani are you okay?” she rushed to ask as her eyes, filled with terror, she looked towards her Dani, and Dani as looking right back at her.

“JAMIE, YOU DIDN’T HAVE YOUR SEAT BELT ON!” Dani scolded, and really, Jamie couldn’t care less, because she was finally looking at Dani’s eyes. Though now, they were filled with terror, and shock, and Jamie hated that she caused that, she reached out and placed her hand on Dani’s. 

“I’m fine. You’re fine.” Jamie assured. 

Dani was breathing heavy. Jamie leaned over, and brought Dani into her embrace, “shhh, we’re fine…” 

“Your.. your seatbelt…” Dani stammered, through sobs that were ready to spill.

“I’m sorry, I must have forgotten to put it on when I came back in, I’m sorry...” Jamie was apologizing, because she knew. Oh, how she knew. Had their roles been reversed, she would have yelled and screamed and scolded Dani for being so irresponsible, because more than anything, it would scare her. After everything, to have to lose her love in a tragic accident, after everything they’ve been through. 

Dani was trying to school her breathing, and Jamie was rubbing soothing circles on her back. “I’m sorry,” Jamie said again, softly, and this time, she turned her face and kissed Dani’s cheek softly. 

“Oh Jamie, don’t…” Dani started and Jamie’s heart ached, was Dani asking her not to kiss her. 

“...don’t ever scare me like that again…” Dani said and Jamie held on to her with more vigour and kissed softer, slower kisses into Dani’s cheek, she kept at it, until her lips were at the corner of Dani’s mouth when Dani’s breath had finally slowed down to normal and she wanted to kiss her lips, she really just wanted to share a life-assuring kiss with her wife, the moment called for it, it really did. 

But the only thing that made her hesitate, was their tension from before. Dani would initiate it, if she wanted, but Jamie would respect her space right now. Because before this happened, before Jamie hit those brakes so suddenly, Dani was keeping her distance. And now they were too close, way too close. 

“We’re okay,” Dani whispered in affirmation, and Dani slowly moved away, sitting back in her seat comfortably, she sighed a heavy exhale and then buckled her seatbelt, even though they were now just a few kms away from home. 

The roads had been so empty, how did she lose her focus. Right. The overthinking. So in that moment as she started up the car again and drove on, she decided to just let it go. Dani would reach out when she’s ready, she should have that faith, no matter how much it hurts to see her putting herself through whatever misery she had been putting herself through. 

  
Dani was still shivering. As long as Jamie had been holding her, she’d calmed down, but the minute they were driving again, she couldn’t help but keep glazing down to make sure Jamie's seatbelt was still buckled in. At one point, she decided, she couldn’t be this far from her a minute longer, so she tried again this time, wanting to reach out and ask Jamie to hold her hand, but just as she lifted her hand off her lap, Jamie was slowing the SUV down. 

Dani looked ahead to see, they had arrived home. Dani dropped her arm in her lap. 

“Come on, Poppins” Jamie said, as she unbuckled both their seatbelts, shut the engine off, took her keys and got out of the car and waited for Dani to join her. 

When Dani was out, she fell in step with Jamie and they walked close to one another as they approached the entrance to their building. 

“I uhh... I need to get another smoke, I’ll see you upstairs?” Jamie said, standing by the staircase right beside their flower shop, that led up to the first floor where their apartment was.   
Dani looked around, and then looked down at her feet. 

“Why are you… we said we would…” Dani began, again, hating that Jamie was breaking her own rule. They’d agreed to reduce how much they smoked a day. And they’d been following their own rule for a good 3 weeks now. 

“I know Dani.. I just… I need a second,” Jamie said, watching Dani. 

Dani was looking at the cigarette in her hand, and then she looked down at her own feet. She was thinking. 

“I won’t be long, I promise...” Jamie said. Dani looked up then, at Jamie, but not at her eyes. No her gaze looked unfocused. She nodded then and turned around. She pulled open the door to the staircase and took a couple of steps up. Only to freeze there and turn around. No. She wasn’t leaving Jamie. Not after the night they’d just had. She quickly got back out again, to find Jamie sitting on the sidewalk, smoke in hand, blowing out huge puffs and sighing. 

“Jamie?” she called out softly 

Jamie turned around where she was seated on the sidewalk and looked at her Dani. 

“Can I sit out here with you?” Dani asked. 

“Of course, you’ll get cold though, love,” Jamie said, worry etched in her features. 

“That’s alright, I'll sit close to you, if that’s okay with you,” Dani said, taking slow steps towards Jamie. Her Jamie. 

Jamie’s lips softly curled into a smile. “C’mere,” she said. And when Dani sat down beside her, she leaned her head down on Jamie’s shoulder, and Jamie wrapped an arm around her, and continued to smoke away with her free hand. 

Dani let herself breathe in the scent of her wife, her Jamie, and reveled in it. She loved this woman with all her heart, and she still didn’t know how to explain to her that she was nearing the end, that she was even closer now than before, to the lady completely taking over her soul.

  
The silence was comfortable. It wasn’t like before in the car. Maybe they needed the open air. Jamie had asked Dani to head upstairs without her, cause she thought Dani wanted the space. Wanted the alone time. Wanted for Jamie to not be breathing down her neck every second, worrying about her. That’s why Jamie used the smoke as an excuse. So when Dani nodded and disappeared behind that door to the stairs, Jamie resigned to her feelings and defeatedly, she sat down on that sidewalk, tired, and so scared for her lover. 

But seconds later when she heard Dani’s sweet voice calling out to her, calling out her name, oh, Jamie loved the sound of her name from Dani’s voice. No one ever said it like she did. Dani’s voice saying her name was like a special brand. It was hers. Dani was hers. Sometimes she liked to remind herself of that fact, she liked to look at her ring and remind herself that Dani did that. Dani asked her to be hers. They belonged to one another. And it always blew her away every time she thought about it, how she had found someone to love and be loved by. 

If someone had told young Jamie that she would find a love like this in her life, she would have laughed it off and said no one’s that lucky. 

But here she was. She really did get lucky. Dani made a sly comment about sitting close to Jamie, and it warmed Jamie’s heart, how was she supposed to feel anything but love and warmth from this angel she could call her own. 

Dani was cuddled up beside her, face tucked into the crook of Dani’s neck, it was almost 2 AM now, and as soon as she was done, she put out her light, and kissed over Dani’s hair. 

“Let’s go,” she said. She could feel the soft, warm puffs of breath against her collarbone. Dani was sleepy. 

“I could carry you,” Jamie said with a smirk, she felt Dani laugh against her skin. “No need, we wouldn’t fit, trying to walk up the staircase, smarty."

Jamie knew. Because this was not the first time she’d wanted to carry Dani up to their home. She’d thought about it quite a few times. But knew that the staircase wasn’t wide enough for two lovers to stumble their way up like that. But she humoured Dani. And Dani was smiling. So maybe it was a good thing. This little silent pause they took by the sidewalk. 

  
They’d gotten to the kitchen after getting home, to clear up the dishes that were still out from their afternoon, and simply put things back in place. And Dani had once again, grown awfully silent, and morose. Whenever Jamie looked over, or tried to start a conversation, Dani didn’t respond, she seemed lost in her own mind and thoughts.

“Are we gonna talk?” Jamie finally asked as she wiped one of the mugs Dani had just washed, with a dry napkin. 

And when Dani seemed just as lost as before, Jamie turned away and said “I’ll take that as a no”, she was almost giving up now, almost. The night was ending, and they’d be in bed soon, and if Dani was refusing to open up, Jamie couldn’t do much, other than wallow in her own thoughts and assume the worst and she hated that her head was always quick to go there. 

Dani hears the sound of the mug being kept away, can tell in the sounds of Jamie’s movements that she’s upset, she’s bordering on completely losing it, she feels bad, she should talk, she really should say something, at least assure her that she’ll talk eventually, she looks into the plate she currently scrubbing, and mindlessly as she turns it in her hands, she’s faced with the water collected in the sink. 

There she is again. The lady. 

Dani stumbles back with a gasp, and everything happens so fast, her hands lose grip on the plate she was just washing and it falls to the ground and shatters into about a million pieces, but Dani couldn’t care less, she’s terrified to the bone, her body is trembling in fear, and she’s breathing too heavy, and she can’t catch up with her breath, and she knows she’s panicking, but she can’t bring herself to control it, she's losing grip over her reality, she’s sure of it, and her breathing gets quicker, 

But as always, she hears that one voice that always seems to keep her, floating in this universe, to keep her grounded. Jamie. She sounds worried to the bone, “Jesus!” Jamie exclaimed as she kept the washcloth aside and approached Dani, reaching out to touch her arm as quickly as she could, but as gently as possible, not wanting to startle her seemingly distraught wife. 

“What’s going on?” are you okay? Jamie asks, she’s concerned, she’s staring at the shattered glass on the floor, and she looks at Dani with eyes of immense worry and care, still trying to reach into her, she wants to fix whatever it is she's going through, but she can’t, can she? 

Dani’s trembling, breathing heavily. 

“What happened?” Jamie asks again, her voice is pitched lower now than just 2 seconds ago. 

“I saw… I saw her...” Dani manages to whisper out. She’s still staring at the sink. “She’s there,” Dani says, the shake in her voice evidently showcasing just how terrified she felt in this moment, not just for herself, but of herself, and for Jamie too. 

Jamie turns to look at the sink, and then back at Dani “What did you see?” Jamie asks her.

“Her,” Dani gasps on a breath, she’s so scared, “I keep seeing her,” she says. 

“Okay,” Jamie says and turns towards the sink, “Right,” she turns the faucet off, takes out the drain block and lets the water drain out. She knew it wouldn’t help Dani, but it was something, it was something tangible she could do in this moment, to make this easier on Dani. 

It gives Dani a moment. 

“Okay” Jamie says, wiping her hand on the cloth, and rushing back to Dani. “It’s gone,” she says. 

“Is it?” Dani asks softly. 

“It’s okay, we’re gonna be okay,” Jamie assures, holding Dani’s hand again, needing to stay close, to touch Dani, to offer her some grounding in this moment. 

Dani’s eyes look terrified as she looks into Jamie’s.

“You can’t think the worst,” Jamie says. But Dani’s nodding in the negative “Jamie”, she pleads.   
  
“We don’t know what this means,” Jamie rushes to say, knowing Dani was not convinced. 

“Jamie,” she tries again

“We… we can have so many more years together,” she says firmly, she’s sure of it, she needs to be sure of it, for Dani, right now; knowing where Dani’s mind is. 

She caresses the side of Dani’s face, “Dani, we can have so many more years...” she repeats with conviction and confidence, needing it to reach Dani. 

Dani finally nods, she looks down. “We’ll keep an eye on it, and it’ll be fine,” Jamie tells her. 

Dani’s still panting hard, tears along her cheeks. “Okay?” Jamie asks, wanting her to say something again, to be assured she was back here, back in this moment. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” Jamie says, holding Dani’s face in both her hands.

And when Dani looks into her eyes again, she offers “I’ll do the washing up from now on, yea?” Jamie asks, Dani nods slightly. 

“You’re shit at it anyway,” Jamie adds, as a way to make things light, to ease the tension that was heavy in the room, to make Dani smile, even if just for a second.

Dani chuckles. 

She was successful. Dani’s leaning back against the counter behind her, and Jamie was leaning over her, powerfully, assuredly, and ever so protectively.

Jamie chuckles too then, smiling at her beautiful wife, 

She collects her in her arms “Oh baby, come here,” she kisses her cheek, and Dani kisses her too, weightlessly letting herself be held by Jamie. Jamie puts a gentle hand at the back of her hair and assures her “It’s okay, it’s okay,” she says, she can feel Dani is still shaken, still crying, “it’s gonna be okay,” she says one last time. 

They stood there, Jamie holding Dani for as long as she needed, until Dani finally kissed Jamie’s cheek again and whispered, “Let’s go to bed?” 

“Sure, come on,” Jamie said, pulling away to look at Dani, her eyes were red-rimmed, and she looked so tired. Jamie hated herself for being so upset with her earlier, she decided, no more pushing Dani to say anything, they could just go to bed tonight, and think of everything tomorrow.

Jamie kissed her lips softly, and Dani kissed back, and that was a good sign she was here. She was present. 

“Go on ahead, freshen up and get in bed, I’ll clean up here and be right with you, okay?” Jamie said. 

Dani looked down and around at the broken pieces of glass plate all around the kitchen floor. 

“I’ll do it, it’s my fault…” Dani said. 

“Shhh, listen to me?” Jamie asked, her hand caressing Dani’s cheek, her fingers outlining and tracing around the shell of her ear.

Dani nodded slightly. 

“You need to sit down, or lay down, or something, I got this. It won’t take me long, I’ll be right there with you,” Jamie assured her, and Dani finally agreed. 

Jamie brought her face down and kissed over her forehead and said, “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Dani said all too quickly. 

Jamie smiled. It warmed Dani’s heart so much. She took two steps towards their bedroom, and then turned around and said. 

“Jamie, we’ll talk… I’ll.. I’ll tell you everything…” she said. 

“Dani… you don’t have to if you’re not…” 

“No. I want to. I’ve been wanting to… I just needed… to process it myself… but... I realized, I don’t need to do that on my own,” Dani said, her fingers fiddling with one another, she looked down at her hands and then back up at Jamie. 

“Okay… okay, I’ll be right there,” Jamie told her. 

Dani smiled and walked away into their bedroom. 

  
When Jamie came to their bedroom, she saw Dani reading a book, leaning back against her pillows. Jamie went over and kissed atop her head and said,“I’m just gonna change and be right with you.” 

“Hmmm,” Dani hummed her appreciation. 

Jamie moved around swiftly, she picked out a baggy t-shirt and a fresh pair of underwear from her drawer, disappeared into the bathroom for 10 minutes, and was then out and lifting the covers, and getting into bed with Dani. Dani immediately kept her book aside and snuggled closer to Jamie. 

“There we are,” Jamie said, settling in, an arm around Dani, while Dani buried her face into the crook of Jamie’s neck and inhaled deeply. Dani always found the smell of Jamie so comforting, almost healing, always capable of calming her nerves. She loved cuddling up with her like this every night, they would kiss, and caress, and talk, and discuss the most random topics on most nights, and eventually fall asleep in one another's arms.  
Jamie kissed her forehead and said “We can forget everything and just sleep if you want."

Dani sighed, and kissed Jamie’s neck. She waited a moment before looking up into Jamie’s eyes and saying “Jamie, I’m sorry… about before…” 

Jamie looked at her with so much love and concern, she began to nod and say something but Dani cut her off. 

“No, it was wrong, I was wrong to hold back from you, to treat you like that the entire way back...I was wrong…” 

Dani then shifted, so that she could get all of it out well, and Jamie moved with her, both of them angling themselves to their sides to face one another as they talked, still leaning against their pillows. Even then, Jamie reached out to keep her hand on Dani’s, to hold her and rub her thumb along the back of her palm, it was a mindless habit now, she just always found herself doing that, and Dani too was so used to it now after all these years of being together. 

“I… Jamie, she’s closer now...” Dani said 

“The lady?” Jamie asked, carefully, her eyebrows furrowed in worry. 

Dani nodded, she took a deep breath, “I thought we had more time, I did, God! We’ve been given so much more time than I expected, but…” 

“Dani… no…” Jamie began to say 

“Listen, Jamie,… I saw her so clearly today, in my reflection on the bucket of ice the waiter was holding, I saw her, Jamie. I didn’t see me… she’s… she’s so close…” 

Jamie leaned in and brought Dani close into her embrace, that was what had changed her demeanor, that was what had been on her mind ever since they left the restaurant, she’d been thinking about that, and overthinking it, and worrying herself into a universe of dread. Jamie felt horrible, she felt Dani’s fears all at once, and hence, the overwhelming need to hold her close, wrap her up in her arms and protect her from everything she could.

“Oh Dani, baby…” she said comfortingly, and she felt a wetness at her neck, Dani was crying again.

“Jamie, I’m so scared, she’s going to take me, she’s going to take me away from you… I know it… I’m going to end up hurting you so badly, even though I don’t want to…” 

“Shhh, Shhhh, Dani.... Don’t think about that...” Jamie told her. 

“It’s all I can think about, really. It’s all I’ve been thinking about… and then... Then the car incident...” Dani started.

“I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t mean to scare you...” Jamie assured, leaning in to pepper soft, gentle assuring kisses along her face. 

“I know, but Jamie, I had upset you so much by then, and then in that moment, all of our years together flashed before my eyes, in that single moment, I thought about how I was wasting our time holding back my fears from you, I knew I would talk to you about it eventually, I wanted to give myself time to understand what it meant, and think of a solution maybe, but then that happened, and I decided I would tell you once we’re home…” 

“A solution?” Jamie seemed stuck on the word. 

Dani breathed in deep and exhaled heavily. 

“Jamie, the only way this ends, is with you getting hurt, no matter what…” Dani started. 

Jamie stiffened, she had a feeling she knew where this was going…

“I was thinking… Maybe… maybe I should give you a chance…” Dani said softly 

“What?!” Jamie interrupted. 

“A chance to live your life fully, Jamie. With me… well, with me it’s just… it’s hardly a life at all, we’re constantly just waiting, waiting for the next shoe to drop,” Dani said, tears rolling off her cheeks.

Jamie backed up a bit and looked at Dani with eyes of disbelief. 

“Poppins, you sick or something?” she asked, as she brought her hand up to Dani’s forehead to check her temperature.

Dani whacked her hand away, and chuckled at Jamie’s attempt to make this light. 

“Jamie, I'm being serious!” Dani whined. 

“And that’s precisely why I’m checking if you’re unwell, you can’t be serious right now, love.” 

Dani looked at her with pleading eyes, she looked pained, and worried, but also ever so in love with Jamie. 

“I don’t care…” Jamie started, seriously “I don’t care that there’s a ghost inside ya, I don’t care that she’s trying to make our lives harder, I don’t care that she’s trying to convince ya that we won’t make it through this, I do care about you Dani, I care that you’re happy, safe and loved. That’s all I want. That’s all I’m asking for...” 

“Jamie…” Dani whispered in a sob threatening to break from her lungs.

“It’s worth it Dani, every day with you is worth it, every moment I spend in your radius is worth it. And if one day, god-forbid, the universe decides to break us apart, I will know we did our best, we did all we could to love and be loved, and that’s all that matters to me, Dani,” Jamie said. 

Dani caressed Jamie’s face and brought her in for a deep, passionate kiss. 

“You sure?” Dani asked at her lips. 

“I’ve never been sure of anything in my life, as much as I am about you and me, Poppins,” Jamie assured. 

They kissed softly, scooting lower in their bed, hands explorative along each other’s clothes, and when Jamie pulled back for air she spoke at Dani’s lips. 

“Were you really expecting me to just take your suggestion and run with it?” Jamie asked. 

Dani chuckled, “No, deep down I was hoping you’d fight me, and you did.” Dani said. 

“Cunning. But yea, I’m not letting you go, Dani. It’s you, me, and the lady, for as long as we can be us...” Jamie said, biting Dani’s lower lip. 

“I hate that.” Dani said, truthfully. 

“I love you,” Jamie said, with a smile. 

“And I love you too,” Dani said. 

They kissed into the night, lips moving against one another like soft silk, Dani’s hand slipped under Jamie’s t-shirt to find her warm skin, her cool fingers felt ticklish against her waist and Jamie giggled against Dani’s lips. Jamie didn’t think their kiss could get slower, but it did, more languid, un-rushed, simply loving… 

Jamie’s lips moved to the corner of Dani’s lips, and she kissed a trail of kisses along the side of Dani’s face, Dani smiled and hummed appreciatively, 

“I’ll never get over how lucky I got… finding a woman like you, Dani…” Jamie said into her skin…

“Oh Jamie, I wouldn’t call it good luck…” Dani said rather sadly. 

Jamie hovered above her then, looking into her wife’s deep blue and red eyes. 

“Don’t, for even one second, think that what we have is tainted by what happened…” Jamie said. 

“Jamie...”

“Nope. I won’t let you go there. We’re okay… we get to spend our time like this, wrapped up in one another's arms, kissing one another, in our own bedroom, in our own home, over our own little flower shop, we get to experience love, and I believe that makes us luckier than most, even if one of us is home to an old, enraged lady who had nothing better to do than to haunt my sweet lover.” 

Dani smiled besides herself, and brought Jamie in to kiss her again. 

“Make me forget…” Dani said, softly into Jamie’s kiss. 

“I’ll give you something to remember…” Jamie whispered, her tongue slipping between Dani’s lips, her one hand holding her upper body weight up, as her hips settled between Dani’s legs. 

“Hmmm...” Dani smiled again, her eyes staying closed as she surrendered to the feeling of Jamie’s loving. 

“Jamie, take off my clothes,” she said. 

“Your wish is my command,” Jamie said with a smirk as she reached for the hem of Dani’s t-shirt and brought it up above her head, her hands found Dani’s sides and held her lovingly, as her lips descended down her neck and very eagerly set on its way towards a nipple. 

Dani’s back arched. 

“All of my clothes, Jamie…” Dani instructed 

“Shhh…” Dani shushed her, and continued to suck at her breast, fondling the other with her free hand…. 

Dani’s hand found Jamie's soft brown curls, her fingers entangled in them as she caressed her head, and as Jamie drove her wild. 

Dani gasped, “Jamie…” she moaned. 

“God! I love you,” Jamie said between more sucking and nibbling. 

“You love my boobs...” Dani said with laughter in her tone, even as her body responded beautifully to every suck, every nibble and ever squeeze under Jamie’s lips and hands. 

“I wouldn't deny that. But I mainly love you…” Jamie said. 

“Hmmmm” Dani hummed, her hand now pulling at Jamie’s tshirt too, wanting to get it off her. 

Jamie rose up, pulled off her t-shirt and threw it aside “I don’t know why we ever dress for the night, a complete waste of laundry if you ask me,” she said right before diving right back in.

Dani laughed “We can’t sleep naked every night, babe,” Dani said “we’d get cold.” 

“When have you ever slept cold?” Jamie asked, because as far as she could remember, they would always warm each other up real good, even on nights when they didn’t have complete sex, they would make out and cuddle, and touch one another until they’d fall asleep. 

“Touche…” Dani said and then gasped as she felt Dani’s skin against her, her breasts pushed up against her own as Jamie kissed down her neck and sucked at her skin. 

“Jamie… oh…” Dani’s eyes rolled back in her head, she loved when Jamie sucked at her neck like that, it did such wonderful things to her insides, her heart felt so full for this woman. 

Not too long later, Dani found herself in the throes of passion, with Jamie’s face between her legs, kissing her slowly, torturously, and lazily. 

“JAMIE! I need more... ” she said, even as she tugged at Jamie’s hair lightly, trying to guide her to go faster…

“I like it this way… I like you this way…” Jamie said into her skin, causing a rush of heat to pool between her legs, and Jamie licked and sucked, slowly, languidly. 

“Ohhh! This is… torture...” Dani groaned, even as her back arched once more in complete pleasure. Jamie chuckled into the corner of her thigh, lightly nibbling her skin. Dani’s other hand made it to Jamie’s hair too, holding her put, between her thighs.

“Jamie, please!” 

“Okay baby girl, I got you...” she said right before quickening her pace with her tongue, dipping two eager fingers into Dani’s heat, hearing her groan loud into their room. 

“Oh yes JAMIE!” Dani moaned as she began thrusting, and her lips latched onto her clit…

“Hmmm” Jamie hummed into her sensitive skin and Jamie gasped, a shock of pleasure running up her spine

Jamie curled her fingers up, thrusting faster, and hitting her inner wall with every push in,

Dani was whimpering, and moaning, and saying Jamie’s name out loud mixed with the most sinful expletives, and oh it did wonderful things to her, to hear Dani say her name like that… encouraging her to just keep giving…

“Jamie, kiss me…” Dani ordered, 

“Patience baby, I’m busy...” Jamie said with a wink up at Dani and then dove right back in, knowing Dani was so close…

Dani bit her lip and smiled, even as she knew she was nearing her finish line. Jamie always knew how to make her smile. Always. 

She didn’t have much time to think about how perfect Jamie was at this, before she was climbing a wild orgasm, her body thrusting towards Jamie’s fingers, every time she pushed in, her hands holding on tight to Jamie’s hair, trying not to pull, or tug, but sure she was losing control. 

Somehow her foot found rest on Jamie’s back, and oh, Jamie’s skin was so soft and smooth under her foot… she let her foot glide down her back and brought it back up, Jamie moaned into her clit and her walls started spasming around Jamie’s fingers. 

“Jamie! Jamie! Jamieee!” she moaned out loud “YES! Oh baby! OH YES” she exclaimed, as her body wracked with pleasure and jerked out of control, her lower abdomen twitching as she came hard against Dani’s fingers and lips… Dani rode her orgasm out on Jamie’s fingers, as Jamie slowly kissed her way back up to Dani’s neck, continuing to kiss and worship her, 

Dani hummed in delight and said “Jamie, you’re extraordinary!” 

Jamie smiled at her wife and very sneakily, her hand found its way back between her legs playing between her folds again… 

Dani’s eyes widened “Jamie!” 

“Come on, I know you can go again…” Jamie said confidently. 

“I don’t think I can…” Dani said, biting her lip and shutting her eyes, losing herself to Jamie’s touch all over again.

“Trust me…” Jamie said, close to her ear and Dani’s body was already getting wound up all over again, this one was going to be quick and dirty, she knew it. …

“Mmmm, can you feel that…? All this for me, Poppins.” Jamie spoke softly into her ear as her fingers played in that warm pool of desire between her legs…

Dani shifted and shivered, and moaned. Her hands wrapped around Jamie’s back, then she brought them up to Jamie’s shoulder blades, 

Dani bit her lip, her eyes shut tight. Jamie’s hand was reaching down between them, and between her legs, working her up beautifully, she was already close. But then she felt Jamie’s hips grind down on her own hand, it was an awkward way to go at it, but the desperation in which her hips swayed, oh it turned Dani on even more. 

“Keep going...” she said to Jamie, her one hand reaching up to hold the back of her neck, keeping Jamie’s face close beside her own, and her other hand scratching lightly on Jamie’s back as the pleasure was beginning to take over her body…

Jamie began to grind down breathlessly, as she started thrusting into Dani again, the edge of her palm, rubbing at Dani’s clit. 

“Oh baby! Does your hand hurt?” Dani asked

“No, I’m fine… Oh!” she gasped as her own pleasure began to take over. 

Dani’s own breathing grew shallower, as she keened towards release, gasping every time Jamie rubbed across her clit and then hit that perfect spot inside of her.

Dani came just as she’d expected, quick, and dirty, exploding around Jamie’s fingers, and Jamie watched as Dani’s eyes rolled back and she shut them tight as she moaned out loud, Jamie brought her lips to Dani’s as she grinded down harder, her own release catching up with Dani’s. 

They kissed, and moaned, until Jamie lost control of the kiss, her lips forming an O at Dani’s temple, breathing hard, gasping Dani’s name like a prayer as she collapsed, her body spent and ever-so satisfied. 

Dani was smiling, breathing in the scent of Jamie’s hair. 

“Let me..” Jamie tried to scoot off Dani.

“No, stay,” Dani said. 

“Are you sure, Poppins?” 

“Hmmm,” Dani said

And Jamie understood, she too loved the feeling of Dani draped over her, so she knew why Dani wanted this. There was something about the feeling, that kind of comfort you get from a weighted blanket. 

Dani’s fingers played in Jamie’s hair. 

They stayed that way for a bit, catching their breath, reveling in their post coital haze, a comfortable silence falling around them. 

“I thought you got upset that the kids don’t remember you...” Jamie said out of the blue, finally scooting over, but making sure Dani had a place to snuggle up to her side if she wanted, and she did immediately. Dani was clingy and Jamie loved that about her. 

Dani smiled sadly. 

“I was a little upset about that, I did care for them a lot...” Dani said. 

“A lot is an understatement, Poppins, you gave up a part of you to save Flora...” Jamie said. 

Dani leaned in and kissed Jamie’s jaw. 

“And I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Those kids were innocent.” Dani said 

“So were you...” Jamie said, kissing Dani’s forehead, long and sweet. 

“I wasn’t upset at the idea that she forgot what I did for her, just that, they won’t remember me as their au pair, their friend, we did have a little fun together...” Dani said. 

Jamie then leaned in and kissed her lips softly, wanting to comfort her wife, and show her just how much she loved and respected her for everything she was to that home. 

Jamie pulled away for a second and spoke close to Dani’s lips, their lips brushed as she said “I wish I could take it away, I wish I could take it on, from you...” 

“Shhhh, Jamie! No,” Dani said, connecting their foreheads gently and bringing her fingers up to lightly touch her lover’s lips, stopping her from saying any more. 

Jamie kissed her fingertips instead. 

“I would. you know I would, in a heartbeat,” Jamie said. 

“I would never wish it on you, besides, your heart’s too pure. The lady wouldn’t be able to survive a day.” Dani said, and she smiled softly, and once more kissed Jamie with so much heart and passion. 

Jamie chuckled in the kiss “that would be a good thing then, I could end her once and for all...” 

Dani laughed “I can’t believe we’re joking about this now.” 

“I told you, we could get used to just living with her...” Jamie joked, “she’s part of this equation now...” 

“Not the threesome I would have wanted,” Dani said, candidly. 

Jamie brought her face back, to look at Dani with wide eyes. 

“Dani Clayton! What is this I just heard?” Jamie exclaimed, feigning shock.

Dani hid her face in the crook of Jamie’s neck again and giggled. “I’m kidding!” she protested. 

“Didn’t know you had it in you,” Jamie said, laughing. 

“A kinky side?” Dani asked. 

“Oh no, I knew you were kinky, just not ‘threesome-wanting’ kinky.” Jamie said. 

Dani playfully whacked Jamie’s arm. “Shut up.” Dani said, biting her lip, and then coming up once more to kiss Jamie softly. 

“Come on, let’s get some sleep,” Jamie said. 

“I don’t wanna sleep, I wanna kiss you...” Dani whined even as Jamie pulled their covers up higher on them. 

“Says the woman who falls asleep mid-kiss most nights,” Jamie said. 

“Well, you just kiss that good!” Dani said on a yawn and Jamie laughed. 

Dani turned and Jamie came up close behind her, spooning her close. 

“Goodnight, Jamie” 

“Goodnight, baby” 

15 minutes later and Jamie was staring at the back of Dani’s head, studying her blonde tresses in the dark of the night, she often loved to just bury her face in Dani’s hair sometimes and inhale the scent of her, everything about Dani moved something in Jamie, and Jamie hated how much she would lose, if ever… if ever…

“Jamie, what would you do if you lost me…?” came Dani’s soft, groggy, sleepy, fearful voice. 

“I won’t lose you, Dani. I won’t lose you," Jamie said, kissing Dani’s shoulder and holding her just a wee bit closer. 

One day at a time. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?   
> more prompts?   
> Leave a comment.


End file.
